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Sunday, December 12th, 2004
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11:51 pm
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before i type this all in, i just wanted to say that it is the second time im writing it... i finished it the first time, and then accidentally hit the friggin escape key, and it all friggin disapeared. so you know i really wanted to type it, cause im doing it twice now. that said.. heres some lyrics i promised a certain someone...
Hayley's Valentines Day Song
i wish i had all the diamonds that i saw
all the pretty things you want
just to give you
on a silver cloth
i wish i said everything you wanted to hear
everything that made you cheer
just to see you smile
right at me
as i lie awake all alone in my bed
all the things i should have sais
come to my mind
and if im not perfect
would you still want me to be
the one who holds your hand
the one who loves you back
and if im not the man
you thought you needed in life
would you still choose me
over everyone
im the luckiest man in the world
cause i have you
nothing that i wouldnt do
just to be with you
i am a free soul in this world
and i give my self to you
will you take me now
and make it just us two
this song is written by me
and i wrote it just for you
the most thing i say is
Hayley, I Love You
i also:
love,
wuv,
want,
y,
eye cheek mouth cheek eye nose eye,
ice cream cone,
apples,
bunnies,
and lastly hayley,
i adore you.
current mood:  happy
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(comment on this)
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| Thursday, December 9th, 2004
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12:59 pm
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Take the quiz: "-What Band are you!?"
You are Metallica!
You are old skool and you just go with the flow! But you're still rockin!
fuck yeah! thats what im talking about!
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(comment on this)
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12:56 pm
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| Tuesday, December 7th, 2004
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12:04 pm
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11:52 am
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senorita?
how were the churches,
and have no fear for the youth in asia,
theyll learn to cope with their cancer,
and remember ling ling chin wong,
we'll order her some day if i can find the website,
did you know that you can make a cool sound with your hands under the shower spout?
oh, and santa is kinda creepy,
maybe if we stole that guys ladder it would have been funny,
and naked chicken is the best,
and candy is expensive,
and sheets get dirty,
pictures are great,
and i wish i had one more kiss.
quite honestly senorita,
i love you.
current mood:  loved
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(comment on this)
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| Tuesday, November 30th, 2004
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12:30 am - eye cheek mouth cheek eye nose eye
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what a week its been, i had a great time. i saw my family, that was good, and i saw my friends, that was good.... but then i saw hayley... that was great. i had a great time, we went to the casino, and to the mall with alex, we had a great time... all the foolish things... the chidren in kaufmans, the talking dog with the footprints, making dirt cake with a smoothie machine... "wheres the trampoline?" well, i cant wait until this weekend... just us.
so im sitting here on my computer with my desktop a picture of us at prom last year with whipped cream all over our faces, having a good time. and on my desk is almost the same exact picture, except from the year before, you and i are sitting in the exact same spots, having just as much fun.. this makes me realize something... we have had so many good times, and there are so many more to come.. oh how the time flies...
it seems like only yesterday i was standing in sangertown mall waiting for you to meet me to see the movie.. i had allready bought the tickets, and ill always remember you walking up with your black sweater and your dark blue jeans and black boots. ill always remember you telling me you wanted to give me a ride home, and i remember calling my mom to ask her with your cell phone, and i was like, "guess what mom, she has a cell phone!"...i remember the way you smelled in the movie, (good smell) and how you told me you probably wouldnt understand what was going on, and how that holds true to this day... ;)but i love it, cause it gave me a good reason to talk to you.. i also remember you looking for a piece of gum in your purse, and that there was makup, mass amounts of gum, your cell phone, and your cd player in it, and you said you had jewel in there when i asked you... and i remember how when it was time to go i walked you out and worked up only enough courage to give you a hug...
like it was yesterday....
i know that there will be many more to come, and every memory will be as good, if not better....
so, senorita bonita... I eye cheek mouth cheek eye nose eye you...
forever.
current mood: happy
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, November 9th, 2004
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5:01 pm - its been quite some time
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quite some time for many things.... such as writing in this journal. since the last time, i have figured things out... no more random cryptic entries about this person or that... no more i wish, if onlys.... only the here and now.
so the weather lately... wow. all of a sudden the snow decided to take over. last night it started and covered the ground in the matter of a few hours... so tim and i went ouside with our folding camp chairs to enjoy it. after that there were some snowball fights with random people, and some snow volleyball. then some sledding.
i remember the last time i went sledding. it was a cold day, quite possibly the coldest one of last winter. it was also the most fun ive had sledding ever. lots of snow in the face, hot chocolate, and good company. also some creative writing in the snow. i would like to go sledding like that again.
this cold weather and all the snow brings back alot of memories of last winter. i highly doubt that this one can match up to that.
(allright, i know i said i wouldnt put any "if only's" in here.. but i have to put one. "if only i can go back to last winter...." yup, there it is. )
in other news, nothing really going on here in oneonta. i have decided that i hate looking for girls.. its a terrible game, and i dont want to play anymore. so im just gonna hang out with my friends and not worry about it. besides, theres no one here in oneonta for me.
yeah well thats about it for now, leave a comment if you want, cause i know ill probably get a few for this one, leave your name too, ill do my best to respond.. just dont leave an anonymous one, i hate trying to figure out who wrote it. thanks...
catch up with you later...
~ryan.
current mood:  okay
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, October 19th, 2004
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1:25 pm - what a mistake?
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so now we have thursdas to play in the pit from 9-11. thats awesome. im pretty excited about that. but i wish there was some certain people there to watch.
~allright, i cant write this right now. at this point in the journal i have written a sizeable paragraph, but held down the backspace key enough to eliminate most of it. i guess its gonna have to wait. theres so much to say, so much has been going on lately. but im not sure of nay of it, so i wont write it in here.
excellent. this damn entry was pointless.
current mood:  confused
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Sunday, October 3rd, 2004
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3:29 am
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-- Name: Ryan John Parr
-- Birthday: August 28th, 1986
-- Nicknames: umm, ryan? or also im known as "henna" to a few.
-- Favorite band: Incubus is terrific, right now im into switchfoot, and its always been... who else? metallica!!
-----------------YOU PREFER------------------
-- Pepsi or coke: pepsi.. vanilla
-- McDonald's or Burger King: burger king has better chicken
-- Adidas or Nike: adidas
-- Chocolate or vanilla: i like vanilla
-- Cappuccino or coffee: dunkin donuts coffee, as long as i can sit at our table. isnt that right tim funka and g-
-----------------DO YOU------------------
-- Smoke: no
-- Cuss: no fuckin way
-- Take a shower everyday: twice a day.. once in the AM, once after the gym
-- Do you think you've been in love?: absolutely... i have asked myself this question not even an hour ago.
-- Want to go to college?: been there, done that
-- Like high school: it was fantastic, the school part was OK, but i miss the times with my friends.
-- Want to get married: of course
-- Type w/ your fingers on the right keys: yeah, my pointer and middle fingers always hit the right keys.
-- Believe in yourself: you have to always believe in yourslef.... doesnt mean i always do it, but i know i should.
-- Get motion sickness: not often
-- Think you're attractive: it is proven that 90% of men think they are attractive. knowing this, its hard to think that, knowing the only reason i do is because im in the majority of the male population, which makes me realize i am mistaken.
-- Get along with your parents: of course, you must respect your parents, while i dont always agree with them, i was raised to respect them, therefore i get along with them.... its not nice to argue with your parents.
-- Like thunderstorms: oh my god yes.. i could go for one right now!
-- Play an instrument: i play the guitar, and i played the trumpet... back in jazz band with some people i miss. i now sing as well.
------------IN THE PAST MONTH HAVE YOU--------------
-- Drank alcohol: a month?!?!
-- Smoke(d): come on now.. you know me
-- Done a drug: a drug? haha.. makes it sound little... a little drug.. hahahaha.
-- Have Sex: Nope
-- Made Out: who wants to know? oh.. you? ok well than there was this one time.. ;)
-- Gone to the mall: the SMALL.... or southside mall as its really known as.
-- Eaten sushi: not in the past month
-- Been on stage: its been waaaay too long.
-- Gone skating: i have not
-- Made homemade cookies: unfortunatley
-- Been in love: absolutely.... just ask me
-- Dyed your hair: not since i wanted it to be my normal color, and it turned out black... i had to cut it.. :(
-- Stolen anything: of course not
-----------------HAVE YOU EVER------------------
-- Flown on a plane: my first plane ride was with my buddy chris and his dad.. on the way to vegas and CA for 2 weeks... best time we had.. i want to go back.... what do you think chris?!
-- Missed school because it was raining?: missed school when it was raining.. not necessarily because....
-- Told a guy/girl that you liked them?: oh yeah... thats how somethings start......
-- Cried during a movie?: no, but i choked on this nasty pretzel and my eyes watered outrageously... does that count?
-- Ever thought an animated character was hot?: no you freak
-- Had an imaginary friend: this is my imaginary friend talkig right now..... ryan is busy
-- Cut your hair: i have cut my hair before.... regretfully so.
-- Had crush on a teacher?: well, i thought a teacher was good looking, i dont know about a crush though.
-- Gotten beaten up: not as of yet.. im sure it will happen eventually
-- Been in a fight: just tonight actually. this kid slapped my friend gretchen, so i threatened to kill him and throw him to the wolves if he didnt have more respect for girls. what a douche bag.
-----------------THE FUTURE------------------
-- Age you hope to be married: somwhere between now and death
-- Numbers and Names of Children: john, and accident number two.. you get them both that way.
-- How do you want to die?: when i die.. animals can eat my body... and before im dead they can just lick me.
-- What do you want to be when you grow up?: happy
-- What country would you most like to visit?: Ireland
-----------------OPPOSITE SEX------------------
-- Best eye/hair color: "I said that i dont care, I just run my hands through her dark hair" -hootie ; i love amazing eyes that no one else i know has, a color that is out of the norm..... that you can look into and be taken back by sheer vividness of them.... i know these eyes.
-- Short or long hair: depends
-- Best height: shorter than me
-- Best weight: thats dangerous ground to walk my friend
-----------------NUMBER OF-----------------
-- Number of people I could trust with my life: oh so many people i would trust myslef with, all my bros, the girls, kids from school, i have become close with, my family... so many peoples are great.
-- Number of CDs that I own: more than i listen to in a day.. thats for sure.
-- Number of piercings: none
-- Number of tattoos: other than what i draw myself.. none
-- Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper?: a few times for karate.
------------Favorites-------------------
-- Shampoo: head and shoulders
-- Fav Color: green.... black
-- Day/Night: both.
-- Summer/Winter: Summer
-- Lace or Satin: i dont know, ill have to see
-- Fave Food: taco taco taco taco taco taco taco......
-- Fave sports stars: i dont follow them enough
----------------RIGHT NOW------------------
-- Wearing: jeans, santa cruz shirt and black long sleeve thermal underneath
-- Drinking: a can of sams choice root beer
-- Thinking about: someone.
-- Listening to: switchfoot- on fire... basically, the main line is, "im on fire when your near me"
---------------IN THE LAST 24 HRS------------------
-- Cried: like i said before, a bad pretzel incident
-- Worn jeans: of course, i love jeans
-- Met someone new online: not really.
-- Done laundry: no but i should, thanx for reminding me
-- Drove a car: dude, i havent driven in over a month... oh how i miss it.
-- Talked on the phone: yeah.... wish i was on the phone right now.
--------FRIENDS AND LIFE------------------
-- Do you ever wish you had another name?: i like the name i was born with..
-- Do you have a girlfriend/boyfriend?: there is someone i would like to call girlfriend, because that would be an honor to be THE guy that gets to say it, such an amazing person...
-- Which one of your friends acts the most like you?: well, i dont know who acts like me... but i act a little like each of my friends, i think we all do, after you spend your entire life with these people, things tend to rub off.
-- Who have you known the longest of your friends?: my mom... then chris
-- Are you close to any family member? im close to all my family... its the only way to go.
-- Who do you hang around the most?: either Matt or Dan
-- What's the best feeling in the world?: finding out something you waited a long time to know... or being with someone.... and never wanting to leave is a great feeling.
-- Worst Feeling?: rejection
-- What time is it now? late... or early also... 4:07 AM, why am i still up?
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Saturday, October 2nd, 2004
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9:25 pm - 24 oceans, 24 skies
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life is not what i thought it was..... 24 hours ago.
hmmmm.... 9 30 on a saturday night... what to do.....
im in a such a wierd mood. i have so many things to think about.. but i have no reason to. but ill think anyways... but why. what the hell? i have no idea why the hell im even writing this... there is no purpose behind it. youre reading this asking yourself... "what the shit?" well at least thats what i would say.
ok, i guess im done writing about nothing now. hmm.....
current mood: confused
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(comment on this)
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11:50 am - my bed
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i love my bed. it always knows how to make me feel. when its been a cold night, my bed is so warm, and i cover up and feel great, it is so comfortable. this is what beds do, keep you warm. but last night, i was warm when i got into bed, lo and behold, my sheets were cool. the night air had been blowing on them for a few hours, and when i got to it, warm and not wanting to be any warmer, my bed knew. its always there too. i can sleep when ever i want. just collapse on the matress which is only a foot off the ground. next to my bed, on the wall so that i may look at when i rest, are all my friends. four rows of pictures taken in virginia beach. everything from dan with his "ladies head" on the battleship, to the group shots with the fun hats in the park. pictures where tim and I are going titanic style on the cruise ship. and one from the theme park where we just got there. there is one of myself, greg, tim, and chris. from the past summer. the melting chair game... and one of the girls in the museum. tim passed out on the pool table, various sharpie tattoos, one where alicia is tackling me at a party, one where we had stacked all the head rests from the seats into the back. that was stealthy..... after the pictures there is a cool breeze. and my music playing. im going to my bed. it calls.
current mood:  mellow
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(comment on this)
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| Wednesday, September 29th, 2004
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2:47 am - guess what? guess what? im in a great mood!
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aaaaahhh.... (that wasnt a yelling one, more like a sigh, just in case you were wondering) today was good, everyday is good. you ever just get bored and check peoples away messages methodically? systematically right clicking on every little yellow note pad laden name on the list just to see what theyre doing? of course you do. you have aim. so i was doing this, probably for the 15th time today... now u know how you can put the little %n in there and it will put in the viewers name? well there was a certain one where i had assumed this was the case, but when i got a little nosey, (i went across the hall and had my neighbor check the away message on his name just to see... i swear, im not really that bored...) and sure enough this is what it said....
goodnight, GuitarMtllc1 ;-)
yes! that is awesome.... doesnt it make you feel good when someone puts something out there for everyone to see.. and its for you? i certainly enjoy it... :) (obviously enough to write a journal entry about it at quarter of three on the morning)
my suggestion to life.... keep being awesome.
oh, and check out my current music..... download it if you can, if not, ask me, ill send it you, its great.
current mood:  touched
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Sunday, September 26th, 2004
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5:43 pm - and it ends....
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so im back at school. i want to go back to this weekend. i was home, and i had a great time, even though i didnt get a chance to see everyone as much as i had hoped. not so sure that im as excited about being back at college as much as i was last week.
this weekend was interesting... found out a great many things, like how you can be friends with someone all through high school, then when you come home like this, everything is different. this doesnt go for everyone, some people are closer, but others have really grown apart, it seems.
well, i guess we'll see what happens.
im happy this weekend and its events took place, gives me insight into some issues, some bad... some great. im not happy to be away from my friends again though.
current mood:  contemplative
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(comment on this)
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| Friday, September 24th, 2004
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9:32 am - only a few more hours....
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oh man im so excited, i go home today! i cant wait to see everyone... its gonna be great. ok, just thought i would get that in there... gotta go to class!!!! peace
current mood:  excited
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(comment on this)
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| Wednesday, September 15th, 2004
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11:50 pm - oh man
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ok, so i thought it was going to be strange... thats an understatement. so i come home, and i have no car. that car has been a staple in my life this entire past summer. i get in my wonderful car and go. thats what i do. i am never home... but know i am. i cant go, i cant just leave, im trapped. everything reminds me of this summer. my car, the freedom, my friends. wow, i didnt think it would be like this. not only that, but its not like im even home.... my room is gone. my brother wanted it, so i have this tiny as shit room that bed barely fits in. (not that its much different from my dorm room.) but this has been my room forever, now thats gone too. no car, no room, friends arent home. a few are, but i have yet to hang out with them. it makes it so much harder when i DONT HAVE A CAR! this is gonna take some getting used to. i mean, of course i enjoy the company of my family, but i need to get out too. my sister said it the best. "youre at school, it feels like home, but not quite, then you come home, its how you remeber it, but not quite like home anymore. so you are in this in between state where you dont officially belong anywhere. yet you have two homes. it is the strangest feeling ever." shes right.
current mood:  blank
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(comment on this)
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12:06 pm - how so?
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i find it strange.... walking back from the dining hall this morning, where my friends were outside the hall where the bus was to pick them up. what i find strange is that everyone is going home this weekend, and we are all saying goodbye as if we have known each other forever. your with these people for just over 3 weeks, yet they are such good friends allready. now i am going home in a few hours. home. my family. it will seem so strange. my friends, it will be like nothing has changed. at least thats what i would like to think. i can see it now, whoever is home... we will all get together, see how everyone is, and it will be like we are the same, but deep down i think we will be watching, mentally noting any changes in the people we once knew so well. looking for ways that things have changed, whether they have or not.
so much is different. i dont want things to change, i was perfectly content with the way things were. i think that trip home is what it takes for me to realize the change. to be honest with you, i have no idea what to expect. of course i have an idea of how it will be, from past experiences, but i dont think it is right. ill have to wait and see.
i go home in just over four hours. i cant wait to see my friends. of course i wont see them all, not everyone will be home. well im glad i can see the few who will be.
current mood: contemplative
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, September 14th, 2004
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3:46 am - king size
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| Sunday, September 12th, 2004
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11:34 pm - positive euphony
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my live journal name is positive euphony. euphony means melody, or harmony. i wish to live in positive harmony. where everything you do is in some way accentuated by some other act of somone else. just as in music a positive harmony is when the notes you play make the most beautiful sound with those played by others. lets say there is no one else playing. this makes it difficult to euphonize. its as if there is no one else in the room. i know who needs to play the other parts, i know what needs to be played, what instruments to play them, but no one wishes to take time to do it. no one wants to put the effort into the music to get something beautiful out of it. something that makes one feel elated, that touches you when you listen. that when you know what is going on, you just need to talk to someone about it. so that you can let them into what you know. is this not what you do when you hear a good song? tell everyone you know? how about when you meet someone? tell everyone you know. lets say you heard this song a long time ago, and just recently, in the past month or so... you realized that it makes you feel better than anything you have ever heard, anything you ever knew. you want nothing other than to sit and listen to this song all day long, everyday. and when you cant hear directly, you will sing it in your head. now imagine you didnt have this song anymore, you knew the song was never really yours. its as if someone took it away, never to be found again. no matter what you do... what you try.. you cant get it out of your head.. you almost dont want to. you want it there forever, you want to hear it, have it with you. but you cant. you can no longer hear the beautiful harmonizing, the positive euphony is gone. no where to be found. i have no idea what to do... the most amazing thing is not going to be found, does not want to be found.
i just want the positive euphony.
i want the song.
where are you?
current mood:  frustrated
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(6 comments | comment on this)
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| Thursday, September 9th, 2004
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8:42 pm - i take it back
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i started a band. its gonna be fun. im singing, playing lead. this is gonna be some hardcore shit.. maybe deftones style. let out some aggression.. you know what i mean? im pretty stoked. ill see how it goes. aight. thats it. later-
oh i think im gonna put my mood as predatory for the hell of it. ive never seen anyone use it before.
current mood:  predatory
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(comment on this)
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| Monday, September 6th, 2004
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1:00 pm - you must be living
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i need to get a band back together.. to many things to write songs about.. no band.
current mood: indifferent
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(comment on this)
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positiveuphony's journal
